Relax, It's Only Valentines Day!

Mark and I met 32 years ago this month, just a few days after Valentines Day. We were aboard a bus enroute to a student Mission Conference in San Francisco. He had just had his heart broken after a girl he thought was "the one" had broken-off the relationship. I had broken-up at New Year's with a boy I met at a Student Conference in New Mexico. I was "done" with men, so I was looking forward to a fun trip to Golden Gate Seminary for the conference. Somehow he ended up sitting next to me and we had a 17-hour bus ride to California from Utah to get acquainted. As they say, "the rest is history." We were engaged a few months later, and after a year-long engagement, were married in my home church in Idaho in 1980.

Through the years, Mark and I have celebrated various holidays with an exchange of cards, gifts, and perhaps a dinner out. We treasure the cards, especially, as we express our love and appreciation to one another through the words we write to each other. We are both very practical people--I would be totally excited about receiving a set of microwave dishes as a gift. I do not crave jewelry or expensive floral arrangements. However, Mark has purchased me some lovely pieces of jewelry for our anniversary and I treasure them dearly. He understands, however, that I am a simple and practical woman. This year, as Valentine's Day approached, I made my trip down to Roseville to shop and made my purchase of a gift for hubby. No expensive cologne or designer clothing...instead I marched into WalMart and purchased an insulated lunch box for my man. He was giddy with excitement when he opened it...his old lunch bag was ready to be "retired." Last weekend Mark asked if there was anything special that I wanted for Valentine's Day. I thought about it a moment and then told him that I really didn't need anything...let's just exchange cards. He made reservations at a lovely Italian restaurant in downtown Nevada City and we enjoyed a delicious meal together and a romantic stroll through the quaint streets of this foothill town. We had our card-and-gift exchange on Sunday afternoon. I was thrilled to receive a lovely card (a deluxe $ 4.99 one!) with a very sweet handwritten message to me that he had penned. He asked me, "Honey, I hope you don't mind that I didn't get you a gift...I hope the dinner out was enough." It was enough, and I realized that when your relationship has matured you can relax and not feel that you have to meet certain expectations. One doesn't have to try to outdo what your friend did for his wife (sent her a dozen red roses to her workplace). When you have celebrated thirty-something years of holidays and special occasions, you realize that "stuff" doesn't matter---what matters is that you get to spend some couple-time together enjoying each other and showing one another how much they mean to you. After all, it's only Valentine's Day....there are 364 other days a year to express to your mate how much you love them---without worrying about how much roses cost or how many calories are in that box of See's chocolates!