Rules of Engagement

My kids are all in their early twenties....and that can only mean one thing....suddenly, all of their friends are getting engaged! My daughter's best friend got engaged today. It was the culmination of a series of carefully- orchestrated plans that seemed incredibly complex to me. It involved siblings whisking the bride-to-be away to Santa Barbara under the pretense that she was the subject of a photo shoot for one of the sister's photography class....then parents and aunts flew in for the day and awaited in a decorated hotel room to celebrate with the happy couple. Along the way there were bouquets of roses, dressing up for a fancy dinner out, and purchasing a one-carat diamond! And this was one of the simpler engagements! Another friend of my daughter's was going to receive her proposal after the prospective groom chartered a helicopter, paved a walkway with rose petals, and hired a string quartet to serenade his future bride!

Let's talk about how people got engaged in the 70's. First of all, none of the twenty-somethings had any money back then, and youngsters couldn't get credit cards until they had a "real job" for a couple of years or so. A couple that had been dating awhile usually started talking marriage, then you'd toss around a few possible dates, then you'd go together to shop for rings. Usually they were priced under $500, and the diamonds were about 1/16 carat because in the late 70's inflation was crazy and the price of gold was outrageous (but only half as outrageous as it is today!) Anyway, you put the ring on "lay-away" while the groom-to-be scrounged up some more money from his summer job. Then, a special dinner or other type of date was planned and the boy "popped the question" officially, and the girl would say "Yes!" Then you'd drive out to see the girl's parents and the boy would, out of a sense of respect, ask the father for his daughter's hand in marriage. Then the girl and mom would get giddy with excitement and begin talking about dress shopping, color schemes, and bridesmaids. Of course, we were working within a budget....in my case, Daddy gave me $1400 and told me to "go to town" and plan a big wedding! (My younger sister got married 8 weeks after I did...so she also got a $1400 budget to work with.) Back in the day, there were no limos, dj's, or sit-down dinners at fancy hotel ballrooms. There was a cake from Safeway, punch, coffee, nuts and mints---enjoyed in the basement fellowship hall that was decked-out with crepe paper streamers. The bridesmaid dresses were homemade (polyester and chiffon), and there was no videographer. In fact, camcorders had not even been invented. No one got their hair or nails done, and the bride served as the wedding planner/coordinator, thus saving even more money! The bridal gown was purchased on sale, and the most expensive item in the whole wedding budget was the professional photographer who charged about $400 for his services. Friends were asked to sing special music, accompanying themselves on guitar (because CD's hadn't been invented either)
and it was the 70's for cryin' out loud...you needed some good acoustic guitar "folk-music" or early Christian contemporary ballads to add some emotion and sentimentality to the event!

Many people commented that our wedding was "one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever attended"....there wasn't a dry eye in the house, especially after Mark serenaded me on his 12-string guitar. Our wedding was simple, but it was beautiful, memorable and full of emotion. And best of all, it was completely paid for by the time we drove off to our honeymoon that evening in our burnt-orange 1976 Ford Granada :)