Anarchy in the Preschool

I got called in to substitute teach at our school district's preschool. It is held in a beautiful facility on the campus of our local community college. There is a Head teacher, and about 4-5 asssistants. The staff is wonderful and caring, and the classroom is a spacious room filled with books, paints, games, blocks, gym mats, tunnels, a piano---you name it. Approximately 24 children attend the preschool every day from 9 am until about 3:45 pm. The children range in age from 3 to 5. They were all absolutely adorable. And yes, I believe 98% of them were also demon-possessed! But then I have always believed that the reason God made 3 year olds so cute is because if they were ugly, we would probably be more tempted to kill them.

I realized about 5 minutes into the day that my philosophy of teaching children is definitely considered "old school." The philosopy of this particular school is: "if a child misbehaves, there are no negative consequences." The child is re-directed to another activity or area, or is "talked-to". This talk goes something like this: "I know you're angry, but you need to use words to tell Katie how you feel and what you want. We don't use our fists to show how we feel." This might work when one is counselling a married couple, but have you ever tried to "reason" with a 4-year old? My belief is that they need to feel some pain in order to be trained not to repeat a particular undesirable behavior. When dealing with my OWN preschool-aged children, this meant a swat on the bottom or a flick on their hands. It is Pavlovian conditioning that we learned about in college Psych 101. It's how you train a dog or a dolphin, and it works pretty good with humans if you stay consistent. However, at this particular preschool there were no negative consequences for bad behavior....not even a "time-out" rug or chair, and no removal of privileges. If you were being a brat you simply got escorted to another activity in the room and given a nice little talk. These children were aggressive and defiant. There were countless incidences of one girl smacking another in the face and then the "victim" would immediately retaliate. They particularly enjoyed running from the teachers. They also enjoyed not cleaning up after themselves. (I think I burned off 3,000 calories yesterday.) Naptime was optional, so the 6 wild children who didn't want to take a nap simply reaked havoc while the others tried to rest in a dark room. I do not take sass from a child who comes up to my knees. I had to work within their framework, their philosopy, even though I think these children are going to be headed to prison if they don't understand about consequences. However, if one of the children told me "NO!" or tried to fight me physically, I had to get in their face and put a little fear into them....I'm sorry, they won't be getting a "how does that make you feel" therapy session from me. I also MADE a child pick up the food he threw on the floor....and I wasn't goin' anywhere until he did it. Am I bad? Yeah. And how does that make me feel? Really GOOD!

Rules of Engagement

My kids are all in their early twenties....and that can only mean one thing....suddenly, all of their friends are getting engaged! My daughter's best friend got engaged today. It was the culmination of a series of carefully- orchestrated plans that seemed incredibly complex to me. It involved siblings whisking the bride-to-be away to Santa Barbara under the pretense that she was the subject of a photo shoot for one of the sister's photography class....then parents and aunts flew in for the day and awaited in a decorated hotel room to celebrate with the happy couple. Along the way there were bouquets of roses, dressing up for a fancy dinner out, and purchasing a one-carat diamond! And this was one of the simpler engagements! Another friend of my daughter's was going to receive her proposal after the prospective groom chartered a helicopter, paved a walkway with rose petals, and hired a string quartet to serenade his future bride!

Let's talk about how people got engaged in the 70's. First of all, none of the twenty-somethings had any money back then, and youngsters couldn't get credit cards until they had a "real job" for a couple of years or so. A couple that had been dating awhile usually started talking marriage, then you'd toss around a few possible dates, then you'd go together to shop for rings. Usually they were priced under $500, and the diamonds were about 1/16 carat because in the late 70's inflation was crazy and the price of gold was outrageous (but only half as outrageous as it is today!) Anyway, you put the ring on "lay-away" while the groom-to-be scrounged up some more money from his summer job. Then, a special dinner or other type of date was planned and the boy "popped the question" officially, and the girl would say "Yes!" Then you'd drive out to see the girl's parents and the boy would, out of a sense of respect, ask the father for his daughter's hand in marriage. Then the girl and mom would get giddy with excitement and begin talking about dress shopping, color schemes, and bridesmaids. Of course, we were working within a budget....in my case, Daddy gave me $1400 and told me to "go to town" and plan a big wedding! (My younger sister got married 8 weeks after I did...so she also got a $1400 budget to work with.) Back in the day, there were no limos, dj's, or sit-down dinners at fancy hotel ballrooms. There was a cake from Safeway, punch, coffee, nuts and mints---enjoyed in the basement fellowship hall that was decked-out with crepe paper streamers. The bridesmaid dresses were homemade (polyester and chiffon), and there was no videographer. In fact, camcorders had not even been invented. No one got their hair or nails done, and the bride served as the wedding planner/coordinator, thus saving even more money! The bridal gown was purchased on sale, and the most expensive item in the whole wedding budget was the professional photographer who charged about $400 for his services. Friends were asked to sing special music, accompanying themselves on guitar (because CD's hadn't been invented either)
and it was the 70's for cryin' out loud...you needed some good acoustic guitar "folk-music" or early Christian contemporary ballads to add some emotion and sentimentality to the event!

Many people commented that our wedding was "one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever attended"....there wasn't a dry eye in the house, especially after Mark serenaded me on his 12-string guitar. Our wedding was simple, but it was beautiful, memorable and full of emotion. And best of all, it was completely paid for by the time we drove off to our honeymoon that evening in our burnt-orange 1976 Ford Granada :)

Oh, If I Could Only Be 2 Again!

Today during our Upper Grounds Cafe' at church, I had the joy of chatting with our Youth Pastor's children. Hannah just turned 4 years old, and I was asking her if she had a fun birthday.
I already knew that both sets of grandparents were at her party, as well as numerous aunts, uncles, and friends. Hannah is a very serious young lady, and very intense. She is a little lady with blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. She was quite discreet about describing her birthday party to me, and simply said: "I got millions and millions of presents." Her little brother, two-year old Elijah, who is a "rough-and-tumble-100 percent boy" kind of guy was contendedly sipping on a drink from a white styrofoam cup. "Apple juice!" he exclaimed as he held the cup high for me to see. Then, when he had over heard my conversation with big sister Hannah, chimed in: "On my birthday I'm two and I blow out all the candles!" I love the preschool- aged child because they find wonder in the simplest of pleasures....candles, juice, a spider in a corner, a balloon centerpiece, a fresh strawberry---the things us adults gloss over because we're too busy moving on to the next item on our "To Do List."

When Ryan was in kindergarten, I would load up Missy and Matthew in a little red wagon and pull them to the elementary school that was two blocks from our home. They would always point out various interesting sights on the way to the school----a cat sitting in a sunny window, cherry blossoms on a tree, and sometimes Missy would ask me to stop the wagon so she could get out to pick something off the ground...usually a "rolly polly bug" or an injured butterfly. It took us a bit longer to get to school when we had to stop for all the "points of interest", but it forced me to slow down and savor the little things in life that I often take for granted. I was able to enjoy all of God's many creations as I looked through a child's eyes instead of a harried adult.
What a blessing it was to see all of the uniqueness of Creation as if it were a new discovery. I remember taking the kids to a public bathroom and of course there were a million questions: "What are those? (toilet seat covers) What's that box for (receptacle for personal hygiene items)? "Can I have a quarter so I can buy some of those? (personal hygiene items!) And of course there were always those noisy hand dryers that you just loved to hate! Who ever thought that a trip to the restroom at Target could be such an educational experience!

Since we moved up the the mountains (technically, "foothills") I feel like a two-year-old child again, seeing nature in a whole new light. I go for walks in the morning and take a deep breath and I feel like I am at youth camp in the mountains of Sun Valley, Idaho. The air is clean and crisp and the scent of the pines is everywhere. It isn't uncommon to spot a group of deer in the neighbor's yard (or OUR yard as a matter-of-fact) and there are always grey squirrels scurrying across the road and up and down the trees. It is as if I have discovered a whole new world up here. After living in the suburbs of the Bay Area for 10 years, and the Central Valley for 17, it is truly a new experience to live in the "country". There are no streeet lights up here and at night it is pitch black....but look upward and you will see the most fabulous star-filled night sky---it takes your breath away!

So, yes, I am 53-going-on 2. I am hoping I can slow down enough to enjoy this beautiful place I am living in because each year comes and goes faster than the next. I want to be 2 years old again so I can savor all of the intricacies of nature and be excited about each new discovery. But at the same time I will thank God that I am 53 because who would ever want to go through potty training again? Or trying to stop sucking your thumb....or getting rid of your "blankie" or your "ba-ba"....or getting a mean kindergarten teacher.....or going through junior high again....
not me! Being an adult DOES have it's advantages! :)

Tell Me Somethin' I Don't Know!

Since the country's economic meltdown started a couple of years ago, we have been bombarded with hundreds of articles on "How To Save Money" on everything from food to credit cards. Every time I pick up one of these interesting articles to read, I walk away thinking: "Why didn't I write this article? I've been practicing frugality since I got married 30 years ago....no, actually, I was BORN into frugality.

Like many Baby Boomers, I had "Depression Era Parents". This means that they save every plastic bread bag, twist tie, piece of string, fabric, Cool-Whip container, jar, tartar sauce cup, plastic straws from Burger King, etc. etc. As a teenager, this seemed so quirky. As an adult putting three kids through private college, these habits became ingenious ways to run a household! And now that EVERYBODY is "poor", I feel like a trendsetter! Yes, I wash, dry, and re-use ZipLock bags...and in the summer I have begun to dry clothes on a line in my garage. My husband refuses to let me have a clothesline outside...he thinks we'd look like a bunch of hillbillies. I told him it is not "hillbilly" it is simply a "solar-powered clothes dryer." The people here in Nevada County would applaud me for being "green" and "environmentally responsible."

I read an article in the doctor's office while waiting for my mom the other day, and it was about saving hundreds of dollars from the family budget. Brilliant idea # 4 "Save $5 a day per family member by brown-bagging your lunch instead of eating out." We have been doing this all of my life. We even pack a lunch when we attend a sporting event. And yes, I smuggle my own candy and bottled water in my oversized handbag into the theater....sue me! :) I think it is a bigger crime to charge those outrageous prices for concessions! The brown-bag idea is really so much healthier, too. So you save on doctor bills and medications by eating a healthy lunch prepared at home. :)

One magazine article gave some hints for spending less on wardrobe items, one being that you should "buy classic pieces" and "go with neutral color schemes to build a mix-and-match wardrobe." I wasn't sure what the definition is of "classic", but in my closet "classic" means a black blazer and slacks, black skirt, basic black dress, and various colored blouses and tops to mix-and-match. About 50% of my clothing items are black. There are several reasons for this:
1) I will forever have this nugget of truth etched into my psyche: "Wearing black takes 10 lbs off instantly." 2) Black doesn't show when you slop spaghetti sauce, coffee, or other foods on yourself, and 3) Black instantly takes off 10 lbs! When you get my age, you wear stuff that is totally out-of-style, but it doesn't matter because ignorance is bliss. I am still wearing flared leg jeans (bell-bottoms) and my daughter has moved into the year 2010 by wearing "skinny jeans".
I will wear "skinny jeans" when I win the lottery and have my tummy-tuck. In the meantime, I am saving big bucks by wearing out-of-style clothing that in my mind is "classic". Because after all, isn't "classic" just a cool way of saying "really old?"

Keep It Simple

Today I went to the church to my KidZone classroom to decorate for Easter and the new month. As I was making bulletin board labels and posting teaching pictures I realized why I love teaching kids about God---you just keep it simple! Adults make it more complicated than it really is. For example, last month we studied Creation. The truth we teach the kids: God created everything. No arguments about evolution, big-bang theory...God just spoke it and it WAS! The amazing paradox is that our Intelligent Creator who made everything in nature, with all of its complexities and intricacies, still cares about how we are going to pay for our car to get repaired! Children have that childlike faith that Jesus praised while he was on earth...they accept the fact that even though our God is mighty and powerful, He is not too busy to listen to our worries and concerns.

Some of the most profound theological truths that I have learned were gleaned not from a religion professor, but from my own children when they were preschool age. One evening we were on an overnight visit at my parents house and I was settling 3 year-old Ryan down for bed. I asked him to say his nighttime prayers and he began: "Thank you, Jesus, for Mommy and Daddy, and Grandma and Grandpa, and Sandy (their dog), and the cats, and for McDonalds, and for hamburgers, and fries and the ketchup, and the straws...." I had to eventually cut this prayer short...I was getting drowsy! Perhaps it was Ryan's way of postponing his actual bedtime a few more minutes, or maybe it was the way a four year old really expresses thanks to God...not forgetting any little provision that God gave us...but thanking the Lord for EVERYTHING! It was a good lesson to me, especially when I get negative.

Another time my two younger children, Michelle and Matthew were leaving big brother's T-ball game and we were having a conversation about a friend, Lisa, who was very ill. We were just talking and the children were holding my hands as we walked across the Little League field. Matthew stopped, looked up at me and said, "We need to pray for Lisa." I said, "Yes, we need to remember her in our prayers so God will touch her." Matthew came to a dead stop in the middle of the grassy field and bowed his head and prayed, "Dear Jesus, please heal Miss Lisa.she is very sick but I know you can make her all better. In Jesus Name, AMEN!" Matt couldn't care less that there were people all around us, probably witnessing this craziness...he just knew someone had a need and we needed to "lift it up" now...not later. How many of us adults promise to pray for someone and then get so busy with our life that we forget. I loved the lesson this taught me....when you are aware of a need in someone's life, don't procrastinate---intercede for them right then and there.

As I think about Jesus' resurrection this Easter I realize that that one event makes Christianity real...and gives us hope that we, too, will rise one day to be with Him in Heaven if we put our faith in Him. The people who were witnesses to this event had nothing to gain (and everything to lose) by making up the whole story of Jesus rising from the dead, and yet people today still doubt it. There were many, many eyewitnesses who saw the resurrected Christ after he arose and left the tomb. But even those devoted followers couldn't believe it...the women visited the tomb on that first Easter Sunday to take embalming spices...they totally expected to find the dead body of Christ in the sepulchre. The apostle Thomas (dubbed "Doubting Thomas" for time immemorial!) wouldn't believe until Jesus showed him the wounds in his hands and feet. Jesus said, "You have believed because you have seen. Blessed are those who have NOT seen and yet believe." May we recapture the childlike faith that we lose as we become jaded, cynical adults---because following Christ isn't complicated....it's so easy even a child can do it :)