Motherhood: Ultimate Job Security

Today while I was driving my Mom to get labwork done, and helping her get in and out of my little red Focus, it reminded me of when my kids were toddlers...all three of them in the backseat of a Buick Skyhawk...the three carseats barely fit.

I used to think "I can't wait til they're 18 and then they'll be on their own" when I was being overwhelmed with the endless diapers, bottles, ear infections, and other responsibilities of motherhood. Having 3 babies in 3 yrs and 3 months seemed like a good idea at the time. I wouldn't have had it any other way, in spite of how much work it was. Ryan, Michelle and Matt are the best of friends and shared many of the same experiences at about the same time growing up---something I missed with my sister who was almost 4 years younger. But this afternoon while I was helping my mom with her bills and checkbook my cell phone rang. It was my Matt calling from college. He needed me to download a document and get a signature, etc, etc. My baby might be 21, but he still needed me. I think I kind of like that feeling. That is why I still pack my husband's lunch (he has two masters degrees and a doctorate--totally qualified to make his PB& J sandwich) and my daughter's lunch (who is 22 and is a prolific writer and former AP intern whose work has appeared in the Washington Post, the LA Times, and every other major newspaper in the country.)

But I love doing things like that for my kids, my husband, and my elderly mother
because I like being the person who supports them from the "background"...they are all far more ambitious than I am. I graduated 4th out of 1200 from my college, have a Lifetime California Teaching Credential, but I still enjoy emptying garbage cans and doing laundry...because somebody's gotta do it, right?" Anyway, I must go...I just got an email from my son in college and he needs some cleaning advice on what to do about smelly drains and garbage disposal in their apartment. It sounds like an emergency! I think I am in no danger of being "laid-off" or getting "furlough Fridays"...but I definitely need to contact the Payroll Department because I haven't got my paycheck in almost 30 years!

My Daddy

My Daddy went home to be with Jesus on a beautiful spring afternoon in his care home in Auburn, CA. Mom and I had been visiting with him and he was in his bed, wearing a hospital gown and oxygen mask. This was the least responsive he had been...and the healthcare professionals must have known that death was near because they were all stopping by the room and giving Mom hugs and words of support. When Mom and I prayed with him and left, he died 10 minutes later. It was as if once the family left, he was free to "let go" and leave this world. I didn't think I was going to lose him, however, because we had already experienced some times where he was rushed to the hospital and we thought he was near death, and then he would recover just fine. Before I had received the call that he had died, I was praying all the way home as I drove the beautiful backroads to Grass Valley where pink and white blossoms and daffodils dotted the rolling green hills. My cry to God was that He would not let Daddy suffer. God answered my prayer when he took him to Heaven at 1:45 pm on March 15th. But then I felt guilty for my prayer because I truly missed him. In the 12 days since his death, I have been thinking about how happy and whole my dad is right now...walking with Jesus and enjoying a great reunion with all who have gone before. He's not in Heaven because he was a good man....even though he was. He is in Heaven because he put his faith in Jesus Christ to take the penalty of his sins as a 16 year old teen in a little country church in Kentucky. He only attended the services because all the youth in the area knew that all the cute girls went to the church...especially when there was a Revival Meeting in town. He recalled how the song that was sung during the altar call was "Why Not Tonight?" It was a song that warned of procrastinating on making a decision to follow Christ.
Daddy had his ups and downs...he had a fiery Irish temper, that's for sure, and I am sure he was the first case of Adult ADHD in this country. And I inherited both of those "qualities" from him. He was a hard-working man with big, calloused hands and I always remember how he seemed to have endless energy. He especially loved the outdoors, and probably never slept more than 4 hours a night. (His penchant for sleep deprivation skipped a generation...Michelle takes after her Grandpa.)
My Dad was a very colorful character who wouldn't hesitate to ask women their age or their weight, and had no problem asking someone point-blank: "And how much money do you make a year?" He was one of the most generous people I have ever met. Even though he grew up poor (his dad was an alcoholic who spent all of his money on whiskey)he was always a very generous person. He always wanted to make sure that his kids and grandkids got money for birthdays, graduations, etc. He wasn't very materialistic in his later years...just let him wear a pair of broken-in denim overalls and he was just fine. In his younger days, his weakness, however, was buying a new car every couple of years and taking extensive cross-country road trips. Some of my favorite childhood memories were of our family vacations to the East Coast and to the South to visit family and visit every museum, historical marker, and tourist trap (ie. "Reptile Gardens" "Prairie Dog Town")in the good ole
USA. Last night we watched some old family videos of our kids when they were babies, and there was Grandpa Cotton, holding Michelle at her first Christmas and giving her hugs and kisses. He was probably in his late 50's, but still very active.
And that is how I want to remember him.
Dad,thanks for being a good husband to Mom for nearly 55 years and for teaching us that God hears every prayer and that we should pray about everything...there is nothing too big or too small for the Lord. I can't wait to see you in Heaven..love you always!

Get a Life

Today my husband and I had a date--sort of. We scheduled to trek down the hill to Roseville Kaiser to get our annual physical checkups. We had labwork done so he had to fast for 12 hours. The worst part of that was NO COFFEE this morning; on the upside, when you fast for that long your weigh-in will be much more encouraging. I also chose to wear the lightest clothes that I owned and didn't wear my usual big earrings and bangle bracelets. It was worth it...I weighed 3 lbs less than I did 3 years ago. My blood pressure was on the low-side, so the nurse joked that if I want to raise it all I have to do is "eat more salt"! When the doctor (who, by the way, was about 14!) asked if I was on any meds she was surprised to hear that I only take multi vitamins, calcium, and Claritin for seasonal allergies. I told her, "Yeah, for someone as old as me, I'm pretty darn healthy!" Mark was in another building getting his check-up and he got an equally good report. The jury is still out, however, as we haven't received results back on the labwork...I mean, we might have 3 months to live...so we celebrated by going to Sizzler for all-you-can-eat salad bar..because life is too short!